When most of us are faced with a separation or divorce we feel intense emotional responses. Often there are feelings of loss, sadness, depression, anger and fear. It is important that we recognize that divorce is a process that involves emotional issues, financial issues and legal issues. All of these areas are very important and ignoring any of them will not be in your best interest.

In considering how you will approach your divorce (also referred to as dissolution of marriage), or separation, there are several processes that you may want to consider. The goal is to find a process that will meet your needs while minimizing the emotional and financial impact of separation and dissolution. You will find a brief description below of each process.

MEDIATION

Mediation is a process in which the parties to the dissolution hire a mediator to assist as a neutral in resolving the issues of the dissolution. The mediator does not act as an advocate but as a facilitator who helps the parties reach resolution of issues. The mediator helps the problem-solving process by assisting in generating options for resolution. Mediation is a confidential process. Mediators often work in conjunction with other professionals such as mental health practitioners who can assist as coaches or child specialists, and/or with financial professionals who can assist with budgeting, financial planning, valuation of businesses, and cash flow analysis. It is very important that your mediator know family law and family law procedure. When interviewing a mediator you should inquire as to his or her background and experience in family law. If your mediator is not an attorney, it is strongly recommended that you seek the advice of an attorney prior to signing any document which will have an impact on your rights and responsibilities. Even when working with a mediator who is an attorney, a party may elect to work with a consulting attorney to provide advice, evaluate offers or review the final settlement at any time in the mediation process. Mediation is considered an economical process of dissolution, since both parties often share the expense of one attorney mediator and then retain consulting attorneys for review or advice on a limited basis.

COLLABORATIVE LAW

Collaborative Law involves each party retaining a collaborative attorney to represent them throughout the process of dissolution. Collaborative law cases involve a team of professionals which will assist the parties depending on their needs. "Coaches" from the mental health profession are used to address emotional issues, thereby facilitating the process. A separate therapist ("Child Specialist") may also see the child or children to represent their needs to the team. A financial neutral can provide services to help with resolving financial issues. The linchpin of the Collaborative process is that both parties along with their attorneys sign an agreement which states that they are committed to resolving the issues of the dissolution without going to court. If either of the parties chooses to go to court, the collaborative team will be out of the case. All the professionals are committed to working toward a resolution without court. It is very important that when you retain any professionals to work with you on a Collaborative law case, you inquire as to whether they have obtained special training in the Collaborative process which differs significantly from the traditional approach to dissolution. A good deal of the negotiation in Collaborative law cases takes place during meetings with the attorneys and parties, as well as with any other needed team members. There are many cost-saving features to Collaborative law: for example, the expense of experts is shared. Legal fees for Collaborative law cases are often less than for litigated cases (when the parties have to argue in court).

USE OF CONSULTING ATTORNEY

A consulting attorney can assist you in Negotiation and Settlement to reach resolution of issues of dissolution with the assistance of a consulting attorney. The consulting attorney will work toward reaching a settlement of the issues in the case without going to court. In this process the consulting attorney would send out proposals, hold meetings or use other strategies to reach settlement on behalf of one party.

LITIGATION

Litigation describes cases which require the intervention of the court. The parties are unable to reach agreement on how to resolve the issues of their dissolution, and a judge must issue orders to decide matters. This process is generally the most expensive and may be necessary if one or both of the parties are unwilling or incapable of negotiating in the best interest of the children or in a manner that takes into account the needs of both parties. Professional participants of the Coalition for Collaborative Divorce strive to assist families to resolve issues regarding separation and divorce without going to court whenever possible. However, if you need to go to court, a professional participant may be able to assist you or refer you to other professionals.

Please contact participants of the Coalition for Collaborative Divorce for additional information or to schedule an appointment to discuss your options.